There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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