party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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