I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
