His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
