I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
