I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
