Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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