your room smells of hookers.
And success
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
