At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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