I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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