you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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