OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize