My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
