I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Randomize
