Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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