so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
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