im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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