I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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