Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
