im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
