I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
