I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
