please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
how drunk are you?
Several
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
