Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
