i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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