literally had 100 drinks last night.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
