Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
