just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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