You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
