FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
