Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm at about main and main street
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
