i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
