well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
