the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
