someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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