Don't you send me to vm
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
