is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
