Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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