Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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