She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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