Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
