Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
