what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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