32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
It's official drugs can't kill me
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
