it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
