You're so nebulous sometimes
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Please don't give away my fajitas
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
