Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
