nut hugger
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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