Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
