Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
